Relationship & Behaviour Policy

The aim of this policy is to create a safe, inclusive and supportive environment in which children and young people feel respected, develop positive relationships and enjoy learning to their full musical potential. It reflects our Behaviour High‑Fives and sets out the shared responsibility of all members of the Trafford Music Service community to act with respect and care. 

This policy applies to all Trafford Music Service staff, students, parents/carers and volunteers, and to anyone delivering services on behalf of TMS. It covers all activities and settings, including the Claremont Centre, schools, music centres, concert venues and residential or day visits. 

Positive relationships between staff and children are central to high‑quality learning and teaching. Trafford Music Service promotes a culture in which all children and young people feel included, listened to, safe and secure. Children’s effort, attitude, achievement and contribution are valued and celebrated, and clear, shared expectations for behaviour and wellbeing are understood across the service, underpinned by children’s needs, interests and a strong focus on positive relationships. 

1. We listen carefully and follow instructions
   This helps everyone learn safely.

2. We speak kindly and respectfully
   This helps everyone feel included.

3. We treat one another with kindness and consideration
   This keeps our community safe and welcoming.

4. We look after our learning spaces and resources
   This shows we care for our community and enables us to be creative.

5. We try our best and encourage others
   This shows dedication, inclusion, creativity, and support for one another.

Trafford Music Service is committed to creating safe, inclusive and supportive learning environments in which all children and young people can thrive musically, socially and emotionally. To achieve this, Trafford Music Service will: 

• Ensure that all staff and volunteers share responsibility for promoting positive and respectful relationships, wellbeing and behaviour, ensuring that the welfare of every child is always placed first.  

• Staff will recognise individual developmental needs and proactively seek to understand and creatively meet the unique needs, interests and circumstances of their students.  

• All staff and volunteers must act as positive role models, consistently demonstrating professional, respectful and supportive behaviour.  

• Positive behaviour, participation and effort will be encouraged through constructive feedback and meaningful, targeted praise.  

• Learning environments must be safe, secure and welcoming, with clear routines developed in partnership with children and young people. 

• Staff must always use calm, clear and respectful communication when addressing behaviour and must never shout or use language that could humiliate or undermine a child.  

• Work collaboratively with children and young people, parents/carers, schools, music centres and partner organisations to support learners in meeting the behaviour high-fives. 

• Ensure that all staff and volunteers understand, follow and consistently apply the Relationship and Behaviour Policy, including the TMS Values and Behaviour Framework and Behaviour High-Fives. 

• Staff must also follow the behaviour policy of any school or setting in which they teach and share relevant concerns appropriately with school staff. 

• Respond to all behaviour, whether low‑level or high‑level, with compassion, fairness and consistency, recognising behaviour as a form of communication. 

• Staff will liaise with senior management when behaviour concerns or incidents require additional support or guidance. 

Parent / Carers will: 

• Share information about any specific needs, medical conditions, behaviour or SEMH (social, emotional and mental health) needs, and any support strategies required to help Trafford Music Service effectively support their child. Parents/carers may do this by completing the All About Me section when they register for music provision. 

• Discuss the TMS Behaviour High-Fives with their child. 

• Work in partnership with TMS, if your child is having any behavioural and SEMH challenges. 

• Respond positively and openly to any communication from TMS staff regarding your child’s lessons.  

Students will: 

• Follow the TMS Behaviour High-Fives 

Trafford Music Service teachers are responsible for valuing the achievements of every child and providing opportunities for all learners to succeed. Positive behaviour, effort, concentration and musical progress are recognised through targeted praise and meaningful feedback. Rewards are used to celebrate achievement, reinforce positive learning behaviours and acknowledge progress, and may include: 

• Verbal, targeted praise that is specific to the learning, for example: “excellent intonation in the 2nd bar” 

• Positive affirmations shared with parents/carers recognising both small and significant milestones 

• Stickers including celebrating our Music Service values: Dedicated, Inclusive, Supportive, Creative 

• Instrument Level Awards 

• Star of the week trophy and pin badges for Junior/Intermediate ensembles 

• Head of Service Award 

• Clive Gandee Award 

Trafford Music Service staff will always model and encourage positive behaviours using supportive teaching strategies to allow children to feel safe and secure for learning. 

If a child’s behaviour does not comply with the TMS behaviour high-fives, staff must follow the procedure below: 

How we support children displaying low level behaviours: 
Examples include: 

• Not listening to instructions or to other members of the group 

• Distracting others in the group 

• Repeatedly talking whilst the teacher is talking 

• Being unsupportive to others in the group 

• Failing to follow a request from a member of staff 

When dealing with any behaviours we consider our knowledge of the child and what their behaviour may be telling us. We also seek to identify any patterns, trends or triggers in relation to a child’s behaviour and take positive action in response to these. We are proactive in anticipating potential challenges for a child and taking steps to prevent an issue from arising. 

Chance 
Teachers use least intrusive skills and restorative conversations to redirect behaviour. The system is a teaching tool aimed to make better choices. 

• A reminder by the teacher of our TMS Behaviour High-Fives 

• Opportunity for the child to get back on track with positive encouragement 

• Example: “I love it when we remember to listen carefully to instructions – show me how you do that now” 

Choice 
If behaviour continues, the child is offered structured options to empower them. These may involve a ‘change of place’ and when possible, an opportunity to co-regulate.  

Examples:  
“Would you like to play piece A or B” 

“Would you like to play this one or own or with me/group members” 

For further ideas please see script appendices 

Educational Consequence 
We provide educational consequences when we need to teach children the valued behaviour that was expected but not seen. These take the form of restorative conversations and can be with any adult who works with the child. During these conversations, we follow a script which allows the child to reflect on their feelings at the time of the incident, how this might have made others feel, the impact of their behaviour and how they would do things differently next time.  

• Tell me what happened.  

• What do you think ____/people were feeling at the time?  

• Who has been affected and how?  

• What can we do to make this better?  

• How can we make it okay for you to play together? 

• How can we repair this situation?  

• Summarise the learning from the situation then ask, what would you do differently next time? 

Additional strategies 
We recognise that low level behaviours are often an avoidant technique, and so to reduce this we may:  

• Focus on the relationship first - ‘Connection before Correction’  

• Use distraction/humour to re-engage the child back into their learning  

• In group setting, consider re-positioning the child to help re-focus if needed  

• Give the child a sensory break if needed – e.g. ask them to do a job  

• Celebrate children making positive choices so that children can recognise and continue to make the right choices in future   

• Use non-verbal gestures/visuals to re-engage the child without disrupting the rest of the class e.g. whole body listener visual aid 

• Use clear, concise instructions – not engaging in discussion which enables the child to continue avoiding engagement. 

• Utilise support staff in the classroom to support and re-focus the child (where appropriate) 

• Consider if the classroom environment could be adapted to support the child’s individual needs e.g. positioning, equipment, lighting.  

Parents/carers may be informed and TMS staff are welcome to discuss with line manager.  

How to support children displaying high level/dangerous behaviours 
Dangerous behaviour is that which puts an individual and/or others at risk. This could be the risk of physical harm, bullying or harm of self-worth. Dangerous behaviour jeopardises learning and makes others feel unsafe. Dangerous behaviour is unacceptable at Trafford Music Service. 

 Examples include: 

• Being unkind to another member of the group or music centre 

• Damaging school or TMS property 

• Abusive and/or discriminatory language, either verbal or written to any member of staff or other service user 

• Bullying  

• Arguing or acting disrespectfully towards a member of staff 

• Failing to follow instructions, especially those relating to health and safety, or the welfare of other students/staff at the music centre or school 

• Interfering with other people’s possessions 

• Fighting or inappropriate physical behaviours 

We recognise that high level behaviours may be due to external factors that are beyond our control such as safeguarding concerns in the home or neurological and developmental needs.  

We discuss these behaviours as we need to, usually as part of a restorative conversation with the individuals involved.  

TMS Staff will:  

• Enable the individual displaying the behaviour to come away from the situation and have time to regulate at the same time as protecting others from harm.  

• Contact SLT for support, SLT may have a restorative conversation. 

• Once the individual is regulated and calm, a restorative conversation can take place.  

• Parents/carers will be contacted at the earliest opportunity. 

• Following an incident, staff will record the incident on CPOMS (safeguarding and wellbeing system), using ‘Trigger, Action, Response’ format, in order to identify patterns and trends, so appropriate support can be put in place. 

• Support will be put in place for all, including regular check ins and conversations with staff, students and parents/carers where appropriate.  

• If the support put in place isn’t helping a student, following three previous conversations, TMS may need to issue a final warning. Again, this will be recorded, and parents/carers will be informed. 

• A final warning means that we will communicate to the student and parents/carers that further instances of high-level unacceptable behaviour will result in provision being withdrawn and no refunds will be given.  

Additional Strategies: 
As well as employing all of the above, and specific strategies as set out in the appendices, we may also:

• Ensure that we prepare children of any upcoming changes which may dysregulate their well-being, these may include changes to routines and timetables.  

• If children do become dysregulated, we use deescalation and grounding techniques to allow time for children’s cortisol levels to reduce and re-balance.  

• Understand that some children are unable to self-regulate their own emotions. 

• Use de-escalation techniques at all times and remain calm when dealing with any incidents.  

• Following a serious incident, staff will de-brief with a member of SLT (in partnership with a school where appropriate) and look into any changes to provision needed.  

Whilst it is recognised that it may, in exceptional circumstances, be necessary for TMS to permanently restrict access to TMS music provision. This decision should take account of any contributing factors that are identified after the incident has occurred e.g. where it comes to light that the student has suffered bereavement, has challenges with their mental health, additional needs or has been subject to bullying. 

At this point, TMS managers may need to talk with the student and their parents/carers alternative music provision that might be more suitable for the student’s needs. 

TMS reserves the right to deny entry and to exclude any person, including any associated student (e.g. a child of a parent/carer) from all TMS activities in the event that this TMS Relationship and Behaviour Policy has not been observed by any service user with immediate effect. 

How to have a restorative conversation

Sentence Stems for Reflective Conversations with Children and Young People

These appendices provide suggested strategies to support students with identified needs. The approaches outlined are not intended to be exhaustive or universally applicable, and staff are encouraged to use professional judgement when implementing support. For further guidance or additional strategies tailored to individual students, please consult the Inclusion Lead or their Line Manager. 

Suggested strategies to support the needs of children with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) 

SLIDES: ADHD Friendly School | Patreon

• Seat the child near the teacher but include them as part of the regular class  

•  Avoid distracting stimuli. Try not to place the child near heaters, doors or windows or other potential distractions, high levels of traffic or background noise can also be a problem  

• Try to avoid changes in schedules, physical relocation or unnecessary transitions. These children may not respond well to change or unplanned activities.   

• Make directions clear and concise and be consistent with daily instructions - break tasks down into manageable chunks. 

• Provide visual reminders. Children with ADHD often respond well to visual cues and examples. When children get to their independent work, leave key points/vocabulary about a topic visible on the board. Post important concepts the children will use again and again on brightly coloured poster board around the room.  

• Make sure they understand instructions and what is expected before beginning a task  

• Allow movement breaks/time out cards during class time and give child planned and regular sensory breaks. 

Suggested strategies to support children with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) 

Unlock the Potential of Autistic Students - Dr Pooky Knightsmith

• Know the child - this means you can identify triggers and motivators. 

• Use visuals as much as possible, (even if you think the child doesn’t need it/respond to them) to help children understand instructions.  

• Ensure you have consistent timetables and routine – displaying on now and next boards. This often reduces anxiety for children with ASD.  

• Plan and warn the child of any upcoming changes – the more notice the better (even if the change seems like something the child will enjoy).  

• Simplify tasks and language. Many children with ASD can only follow one or two instructions at a time.  

• Link learning to interests – many children with ASD have a particular interest and these can be a great motivator.  

• Always say child’s name when giving instructions as they can be overwhelmed in a class full of 30 children and not realise that you are speaking to them.  

Suggested strategies to support children with Social, Emotional and Mental Health difficulties (SEMH) 

Anxiety in the Classroom - Dr Pooky Knightsmith

Whole class strategies to support SEMH needs - Support for schools and settings

• Know the child so that you can identify triggers and motivators.

• Ensure you give a positive meet and greet and body language at start of lesson – see meet and greet information below. Children with SEMH are hyperaware and may pick up on any negativity.  

• Think about seating. Do they work better next to certain children? Ensure they are sat with a clear exit so they can have time out if needed without disrupting the rest of the class.  

• Understand the child’s triggers. If a child becomes wound up/anxious allow him/her to remove self to an agreed calm-down area or use a task box.  

• Make instructions short and clear.  

• Set tasks with clear goals, outputs and timescales. Once this has been agreed do not change.  

• Teach the child specific behavioural skills, e.g. how to ask for help, how to line up.  

• Make an effort to ‘catch the child being good’ and praise them. Ensure that this is sincere. Children with SEMH will know if it is not and this will reduce their trust in you. Praise the action, not the child.  

• Devise a private non-verbal signal system to let the child know when they are off task or behaving inappropriately. This reduces shame for the child.  

• Find out what they know about or are good at and have them share this with the rest of the class or school/support another child.  

• Give them responsibilities, for example organising music and helping with resources, helping new students.  

• Photocopy good pieces of work for them to take home/put up (if child likes praise) or a positive comment on the Studplanner Chat to parents/carers. 

• When things go wrong, reject the behaviour, not the child… ‘This is not the behaviour I expect to see from someone as kind and helpful as you’. 

• Reaffirm your positive availability constantly (smile, eye contact, tap on the shoulder) let them know that you are ‘keeping them in mind’. 

For all humans, connection is a biological imperative (Porges). Strong, positive relationships and secure attachment with another not only has a profound impact on self-esteem but also on our physiology. Eye contact with someone who is significant and important to us, contingent touch and social joy release brain and body biochemistry that reduces stress hormones, increases activation of our prosocial systems and cements our connection to others.  

Establishing a meet and greet protocol for all in our organisation means that children and young people, staff and parents/carers are better able to engage with others, be more available and ready to learn and lessens the stress load that may accompany them as a result of their experiences. It is a fundamental element of PROTECT, increasing safety cues and creating psychological safety for all. For children who have not yet established a secure attachment being seen, heard and responded to grounds them and gives them a sense that they matter.  

In addition, a meet and greet protocol that is planned for and embedded into practice has been shown to increase academic attainment, decrease disruptive behaviour and as a result adds over an hour of learning a day (Cook et al, 2018). Adults also report an uplift in their wellbeing.  

Meet & Greet Process: 
All children must be greeted by a staff member and this should be the same each week.  

On entry to the classroom, at the door, children should be greeted by their class teacher or in their absence another staff member who is consistent in their presence in the classroom. The greeting should follow the four at the door format: 

• Greet the child using their preferred NAME 

• Establish EYE CONTACT with the child, where it is comfortable for the child to do so 

• Offer the child some form of non-verbal, friendly, appropriate HUMAN CONTACT 

• CONNECT to the child on a personal level with a comment or question 

There will be some children who have trauma or attachment difficulties or who are experiencing painful life events, that may require a more robust meet and greet, particularly at the start of the day.  

• Delight in the child should be evident increasing the cues of safety. Be mindful of proximity, facial expressions, body language and the tone of the voice. Appropriate touch can support connection and regulation if the child is comfortable with it.  
  Appropriate touch means: a high five, fist bump, a gentle tap on the shoulder/arm, appropriate child-initiated touch – holding hands. Younger children may initiate a hug, it would be appropriate to respond to this with a tap on the shoulder – an acknowledgement. Do not reject the child’s display of connection, if you feel uncomfortable, change the direction of the movement to a high-five or something similar.    

•  Ensure the child has your full attention. Sit alongside the child, against a wall and where there is full view of the area. Support the child to reflect on their journey to school, the previous evening and on the day ahead. Demonstrate holding the child in mind, recall something about the previous week or a special interest they have.  

• Be mindful of transitional objects the child may have brought with them from home. If these are too big to be kept in a pocket or are of special value, place them carefully in a special box that has a lid, or in a personal tray and locate them somewhere visible to the child.  

• Prepare the child for the session, with a visual timetable or planner (now and next board). Take note of any subject or relationship that might require additional input. Highlight any changes in routine and prepare the child with social stories or strategies to help them manage.  

• Remind the child that they will be ‘kept in mind’ and when they will next see you. A post-it note or a sticker in the planner can reinforce this.  

• Where the child attends another activity with the music service, please feel free to liaise and share any successes or concerns with members of staff / area manager.  

This strategy involves using relationship building to support pupils feeling safe, develop their ability to regulate and build connections between their survival brain and their human brain. 

When working with children who are dysregulated, staff can use regulation zone cards. When appropriate, staff will use these cards to help students recognise and communicate feelings in the moment. It is important that staff and pupils recognise that no emotion is a bad emotion, just some are more appropriate for certain times than others. By staff using the zones of regulation in their music lessons they can help children feel in control, focused, ready to learn whilst developing tools to self-regulate.  

TMS regulation zones & examples of actions